THE EXCHANGE Fifteen n Sixteen

[11/1, 8:30 PM] Bukola banjo: The Exchange Episode 15
He said his mum was outside…so I stepped out to welcome her. It was more of an entourag. They must have come in like 5 or 6 cars because they brought gifts and things that made it look like they came for a traditional engagement ceremony.
I noticed a brand new car (a 1982 Subaru GL) the only person in it was the driver. Baba T’s mum almost swallowed me as she hugged me and kept showering prayers on me.
“Èmi lo sè yí fún tán? (You considered me worthy of such a wonderful gift?) Wàá gbá dùn mi (You will be glad you did this for me). Don’t worry o…consider us, Babatunde’s dad and me, your husband and the father of this child...anything you need, just let us know ” Baba T’s mum said.
I was too dumbfounded to reply or respond. She said her husband was out of the country but she already called and informed him. She just couldn’t wait for him to return and that was why she made sure they came over to see us as soon as possible. She said they would have come the day before, but they had to get some things as they couldn’t come to their ‘in-laws’ empty-handed.
They came into our house and met my mum. Baba T’s mum was obviously very happy with the turn of events, her joy could not be contained. She hugged my mum and called her ‘Àna mi’ (my in-law).
Brother Dipo was also at home; he came to get some money for his final year project and was really confused at what was going on. He excused himself and went inside
Baba T’s mum was already talking to my mum about ‘the wedding’ and how they would make it memorable. My mum was as confounded as I was, at what was happening. She had to tell Baba T’s mum that she didn’t have much say in this and would have to contact my dad’s relatives to set something up.
“No problem ma, just let us know what you want us to do and when you want us to come…tí isę ò bá pę ni, A ò kí ńpę isę (We are ready whenever you are)” she said in response to what my mum said.
My mum promised to get in touch with members of my dad’s family and that she would send me to Baba T’s mum once something concrete was agreed on.
My mum offered them food and to my surprise, they stayed and ate. Baba T’s mum said we’re family now and although she wasn’t really hungry, she would eat the food all the same. I went with my mum to prepare the food…she didn’t say anything but I could tell she had lots of questions.
When it was time for our visitors to leave, Baba T said the new car was for me and that he wanted me to be comfortable and not have to walk around or stand at bus stops in the scorching sun. I reminded him that I once told him I couldn’t drive…he asked if I could get a driver in Abeokuta and he would pay the salary because it wouldn’t be sensible getting a driver from Lagos. He promised to come back in a few days to see me, so we could arrange how to go about the ante-natal care. I was really startled and couldn’t say much because of how fast everything was happening.
The moment I got back in the house, it was a torrent of questions. My mum wanted to know what was happening. She said it looked like someone already planned everything out and was merely following the scripts.
It took a while to convince her that my story was true and that the pregnancy was a result of one reckless night. I told her that Baba T was an only child and that his parents almost lost him some years back. I also told her what Laide told me about how Baba T’s parents could not wait for him to get married so they could have grandchildren. My mum responded with “Okay o, if you say so…Ǫlọrun òní ję a kábàmọ (I pray God will not let us regret this)”
“You sure will regret this…it’s not a matter of prayer ” Brother Dipo yelled as he stepped out of his room. Apparently, he had been listening to our conversation and had been trying to make sense of what was happening since the visitors came.
“I reject it in Jesus’ name…none of my children will regret in life” my mum fired back.
It became a heated argument between them…Brother Dipo was never the sentimental type. He said things the way he saw them without caring whose ox was gored. My mum told him that the role of family was to support one other especially when options were few.
“That’s sentiment Maami, what if Tunji was your son…would you have said the same thing? You don’t do that to people…Karma has a way of coming back to get you”
“Nítorí owó? (Because of money?) I knew this was going to happen…I said it when the ‘Father Christmas’ era started” My brother was really angry and he promised not to be part of it in any way. He even threatened not to attend any ceremony or gathering for the cause. He left the house in anger…I could tell that my mum didn’t like what was happening but she kept encouraging me that everything would be alright.
My mum decided to go talk to members of our family (both paternal and maternal). She said there was no point wasting time as we needed to come to a conclusion and reach out to Baba T’s family with definite answers and dates. I couldn’t go to work because I was avoiding Aunty Betty (Tunji’s aunt who trained me as a beautician)…also because the morning sickness had gotten worse; I would throw up till there was nothing left in me.
Brother Dipo was not talking to me and he would just walk by when he saw me throwing up. My mum said he would come round and I should not make a fuss about it.
I was wondering why I had not seen Tunji (since he said he would be back in about a week) but deep down was hoping he would just walk away. May God forgive me for this, I almost wished he got involved in an accident so that I would not have to face him and explain myself.
I wasn’t sure how my mum did it but that weekend, all my brothers came home.
After being brought up to speed, Brother Kola couldn’t hide his excitement…it was obvious he was on Baba T’s side (Can you blame him?). My other two brothers had some questions but still showed their support…however, Brother Dipo would not budge.
He lambasted everyone for supporting an evil plot and reminded them that my dad would never have supported something like this, if he was alive. My mum argued back that she knew her husband would not have supported having an abortion either.
“Tí ędá ò bá gba kádàrà à gba kodoro (people that struggle with the tide of fate, end up drowning)” my mum argued.
Brother Kola stepped in and said as the eldest son and heir to my father, he gave his support and blessings. My other brothers had to hold Brother Dipo down as he was ready to fight our eldest brother
In the middle of the brouhaha, my worst nightmare came true…Tunji walked in and I could tell that he knew what was happening. The look on his face said more than a thousand words could have said.
Somehow, Brother Dipo in his anger had visited him (not knowing he was out of town) and left a note at his house telling him what happened and how he (Brother Dipo) wasn’t part of it.
With the silence in the room, one could almost hear hearts beating…Tunji looked at me for a while and went down on his knees. He wrapped his arms around my waist with his face on my belly.
“Please tell me it’s a joke…tell it’s a dream and that I would wake up at some point ”
“Tell me you are not leaving me for another man…tell me it’s all a figment of my imagination ”
“Tell me we can go back in time and fix this…tell me there is a way around this ”
“Tell me this is not the end…it can’t be, it just can’t. I was told love conquers all; tell me Love can conquer this ”
“Tell me life is worth living…tell me my ‘Ajike’ (a pet name Tunji called me) is not becoming someone else’s ”
When I didn't respond he said
“Okay, tell me the pregnancy is mine…please do, nobody has to know it’s not. I promise never to tell anyone ”
He kept asking all these questions while crying…he would sob, hyperventilate like he was having a panic attack and continue. My cloth was drenched in his tears…I couldn’t push him away, I couldn’t hold him either. I couldn’t help but cry with him but I didn’t say a word.
“When I met you, I promised myself that life had taken enough of my loved ones and nothing would take you away from me. Please don’t leave me, I will do my best to also make it in life…I will take care of you. Àjíkę má se bá yĭ (Àjíkę, don’t be cruel)”
He turned to my mum and started to plead
“Mummy, Ę bá mi bę (plead with her on my behalf) I know she listens to you. Tell her it’s me Tunji…tell her to say something, anything…tell her to talk to me. If it’s because I delayed marrying her, I will marry her. I can even marry her tomorrow ”
My mum did not know what to say or how to respond to him. She was only able to say “Tunji ní sùúrù (Tunji calm down)”
“Don’t let me calm down ma…this is where ‘calming down’ has led me. Ę kàn bá mi bę ni (just help me plead with her)”
Tunji turned to my brothers too and started to beg them, promising to never make them regret supporting or vouching for him. They were equally stupefied while Brother Dipo stayed aloof from us all
“You just have to be a man” Brother Kola said as he tried to pull him up
“Don’t let me be a man sir…I just want to be with Àjíkę. Let me stay like this…Ę má ję kí n'dìde sir (don’t let me get up sir)” Tunji responded…sobbing, slobbering and panting
It was so sad watching him go through this but I didn’t have anything to say. I couldn’t even make a sound…I only had tears running down my cheeks.
I knew this day would come but I didn’t expect it to go like it did. My mum had said we would think of a way to break the news to him but we had not even started thinking, so it was shocking and I was totally unprepared.
In the middle of this, my dad’s immediate younger brother walked in...
To [truncated by WhatsApp]
[11/1, 8:30 PM] Bukola banjo: Get set this episode is very long.
Seat back n relax.
*THE EXCHANGE*

*Episode 16*

He had been knocking on the door but nobody heard him. He had gotten my mum’s message and had come to meet with her so they could discuss it. He was one of the family members that already knew Tunji and was taken aback by what he saw.
It wasn’t long before he was brought up to speed and he looked at me, shook his head…then he pulled Tunji up. He said he had assumed I was getting married to Tunji after he got my mum’s message but not withstanding; he was not in the
position to influence whoever I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.
My uncle started to talk to Tunji and somehow he listened maybe because it was coming from an elderly man or because we could all see genuine empathy in the way my uncle talked.
My uncle said a lot, he was trying to let Tunji see that this was not the end of the world
“ Tunji, that’s what we call a man…welcome to manhood ”
“ T’Ǫlọrun bá ńse ire, à ló ńse ibi (Some things we see as evil just seem so, they are really ‘good’, inbdisguise) I want you to see this as God’s will and believe that He, in His sovereignty, has something better for you”
“ A s’òroó se bí ohun tí Ǫlọrun ò l’ọwọ sí (When the road gets too tough, it could be an indication
of God’s disapproval)”
“ Ojú tí ó b’áni k’alę, kìí tàárọ s’epin (an eye that’ll last a man till his old age should not be getting infected from infancy)”
“ You are young, you are good looking, you are educated, you have a bright future ahead of you… don’t worry about it. Someday, you will look back at today and thank God that it happened. Don’t ever cry because a woman rejected you; get up, dust yourself and move on”
After about an hour of listening to my uncle, Tunji got up, thanked him…thanked my mum and asked to take his leave. He looked at me and said he wished me the best…I still couldn’t say anything. My uncle and Brother Dipo saw him off and they must have spent another half hour outside. That
was the last time I saw Tunji until yesterday, but I’ll get back to that.
My uncle came back in and talked to me as well, he said nobody had the right to choose a husband for me and all they could do was pray that God would go with me and make the place comfortable for me. He asked some questions about Baba T and his family and I realised that I didn’t really know much except for the things Laide told me. “Looks like you chose to marry a complete
stranger over someone you know” He said. I told him that I did not really choose to marry
Baba T but the pregnancy kinda tied my hands.  “ Well, you chose him when you decided to do things that could get you pregnant. Not to worry, you really don’t know anyone until you have gotten married to them. I just pray that God will
make the place your home” my uncle continued.
He discussed with my mum for a while and scheduled another family meeting. He said he
would reach out to all the people that should be at the scheduled meeting, where they would choose a date for Baba T’s parent to come for a formal
introduction to the family.
After my uncle left, our family meeting continued… my mum blamed Brother Dipo for how things turned out. He refused to take the blame and stormed out of the house. I cried all night because of what I did to Tunji. I
even prayed to God to forgive me…I just couldn’t get the picture of his reaction out of my head.
Baba T came back the following day, it was a Sunday…he came with Bola and Laide (whose
pregnancy was becoming obvious). Bola and Baba T discussed with my mum and 3
brothers (Brother Dipo did not even come out to greet our visitors) I was in the kitchen with Laide as she kept encouraging me to put my mind at rest…it wasn’t long before she got me back in a good mood. She told me not to worry and based on what she knew, I would be well taken care of.
She said her husband (Bola) told her some things he had heard from his parents and Baba T’s parents and I should rest assured that everything
would be fine.
When it was time for Bola and Laide to leave, Baba T said he would be staying in Abeokuta for the night as he wanted us to see the Doctor together the following day. He had booked a hotel room before they came to our place. He asked my mum
if I could go with him to the Hotel so we could talk.
“ Why not? Kò s’áwo kan l’áwo ęwà mọ (what’s the point of holding her back?)” my mum responded… So I went with him. I had lots of questions and it
was as if we wanted to get to know each other after it was obvious we would be getting married.
We talked about a lot of things and Baba T tried to answer my questions. In a nutshell, I would move to Lagos after the wedding and we would move to
our own place. We would open the Salon and I would start that business and everything should be fine from there on…right?


                   *******
Let me forward the story a little bit…
so we got married about 4 months later, it was beautiful, I’m not even sure the word beautiful does justice to the
event. It was more glamorous than what I had pictured…as a matter of fact; it was bigger and
better than Laide’s wedding. She even told me I almost made her jealous.
Baba T’s family took care of everything. It was a societal wedding, every girl’s dream wedding. Baba T’s mum took me to Italy and Switzerland to shop for the wedding like she said the first time I met her…everything was perfect. Brother Dipo did not attend the wedding like he had threatened; not
even my uncle could get him to come, so I decided to never talk to him again. My mum begged me not to do that but my mind was made up and I promised myself never to forgive him. Let me also add that my marriage ended my mum’s friendship
with Aunty Betty. She felt like my mum betrayed her…I made sure I didn’t see her until I moved to
Lagos.
After the wedding, the pampering was so much I
completely forgot about Tunji. We also got a house as a wedding present, it was bought and renovated to our taste (Baba T’s dad said there wasn’t
enough time to build a new one). It was in the same area as Laide’s. We got cars as wedding
presents too and Baba T gave the car he had bought for me to my mum.
Baba T registered me in another Hospital in Lagos and would attend every appointment with me. He was so caring and supportive all through the
pregnancy. We couldn’t travel for honeymoon but Baba T promised to ‘fix’ that as soon as I had the baby.
The second trimester of my pregnancy was physically and emotionally hard. It was as if the
baby did not want to stay, there was always a reason to go to the hospital. The doctor said I
should have felt better after the first three months so he recommended that I didn’t do anything stressful.
My Mother-in-law was very helpful...she would always come home to stay with me when Baba T was at work. We had maids and helpers in the
house but she would personally make my food and bring it to me and she would make sure I ate the food in her presence. I started to feel better right
around the seventh month so my husband asked if we should go ahead and open the Salon. It had been sitting there for months…I didn’t see why not,
so he put things in motion to get it ready.
The Salon was opened on my birthday…I must have been like 7½ months pregnant then. It was an eventful ceremony with friends and family…it even
made the evening news and I was so happy.
The clientele in the first week alone was almost ten times what I did in a whole month back in Abeokuta. I had people working for me; I had access to all sorts of cars. I even had my own driver…life was good, right?
When it was almost time to deliver the baby, Baba T sprung another surprise…I never knew he was planning for me to have the baby in the United Kingdom. He came home with flight tickets and said we would be travelling. His mum also came
with us; she said she couldn’t miss the birth of her first grand kid. It was when we arrived that I got to know that Baba T’s family had a huge house in
London.
On our first night, I got to know that house was where Baba T lived while schooling in the UK…he told me stories of his escapades and some of the
things that happened in that house. It looked like he felt he was saying too much because all of a sudden, he just changed the topic and started talking about something else.
I got to know some new things about him that day because he delved into his past with the lady he almost married and said something about “getting
arrested” and “blood everywhere” but that was
when he stopped. I was a little scared and it was as if he read my mind
“ Don’t worry sweetheart, that’s all in the past…” he said I had the baby about 10 days after we got to the UK, my water broke in the middle of the night and Baba T drove me to the hospital, his mum came with us.
It was a baby boy and Baba T was ecstatic, he kept jumping up and down and couldn’t hide his joy. My mother-in-law was just kissing me and the baby repeatedly. Baba T said he had to make some calls and get some things at the home…he
promised to be back shortly.


Hmmmm...merry Christmas and prosperous new year!!!